It’s been a while, over a year to be exact, since the last time I posted. And in that past year, it’s fair to say a lot has changed in my life. I broke up with my boyfriend, got a new boyfriend, finished uni, moved out of home for the first time and got my first proper job. It’s been a crazy year, a year which some of the biggest changes of my life have happened. And its definitely had its challenges, thats for certain.
If you don’t quite remember, my last post saw me hit my goal weight of under 70 kilos (69.9kg to be precise). But since then, a cheeky 10kg’s has crept back on! I know, 10kilos! I guess part of the reason for the lack of blogging was the fact that I didn’t want to admit that I had gained that weight. But right now I figure I’ve got nothing to lose by doing so (except for maybe those 10kilos!).
I could sit here and list off a whole lot of reasons why I’ve gained the weight back. “It was my final year of uni and I had to work a lot more. I got a new boyfriend. I moved out of home.” but put simply, I started to eat more crap and exercise less.
It sucks to think that I’ve gained this weight back. Weight that when looking back on previous posts, I worked hard to lose. Weight that I promised myself I wouldn’t gain back. Weight that is going to take me a hell of a lot of work to get rid of again. I’ve had a few half arsed attempts at trying to get it off recently, but I know I’ve not been trying hard enough (obviously I’ve not been trying hard enough else the weight would have come off).
I’m not going to sit here and promise that this time I’m going to do it perfectly with no slip ups, because that would be a silly thing to say. I know that I’m going to make mistakes and I know sometimes I’m going to jump on the scales and regret eating that piece of chocolate or not going for that run the day before. But in reality, I know that I’ve done this before and I know that I can do it again. I know that it’s not always going to be easy, and I know some days I’m going to have meltdowns but I’m hoping that with the support of my fellow violets (I know you guys are out there somewhere!), and the readers we have out there, that I will be able to do it this time.
I’m still 20kilos down on what I weighed at my heaviest, and that is obviously a great achievement. But with another 10 kilos (at least) to lose, I feel like I’m back at the beginning and that’s hard! It’s hard to look back at what I had achieved, achievements which I was so proud of, and know that I’m no longer there. Knowing that I used to be able to run 5km in half an hour when I now struggle to run 5 minutes. But I guess it’s important to remember that sitting here and moping about what I’ve lost is not going to get it back. I don’t want to be here in another year dwelling on the fact that I’m even worse off than I am now.
I’m not going to sit here and make a promise that today is the day when everything changes. I’ve done that before and it’s not the way that works for me. But I will say that today is the day where I acknowledge that things need to change.
I hope that everything has been going well with all the readers out there, trying to lose weight or not! Leave me a comment and let me know how you’re doing, I’d love to know! 🙂